So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
