Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
