when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
try to milk me bitch
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