I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize