I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize