um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
