I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
