Swine flu. Run for my life!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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