Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
