Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just gift wrapped bread.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
