So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
