The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
