I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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