yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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