I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
