Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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