You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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