Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
