chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
As shirtless as possible
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
