This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize