capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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