apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
