I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize