I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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