Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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