I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
