TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
