Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
