Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
