you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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