I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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