would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
