The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I bet he comes in French.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize