I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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