Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Fuck appropriateness.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
