Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize