I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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