Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
