Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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