Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
