I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
