My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
