I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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