That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize