I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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