I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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