accomplished twins. life is a go
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize