How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Jerry, you need to find god
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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