peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Couch. On fire.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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