Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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