dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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