he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize