Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
