I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize