this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
