im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize