There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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